Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
