Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
