i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
