I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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