Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
