He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm always down for nudity.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
