Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
