Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
