She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
one might say we're banned from that church
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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