I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
