I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize