there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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