proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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