Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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