I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
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