I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My pussy is not your playground.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
