better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
