weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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