you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
