i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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