I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is her dick bigger than yours?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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