I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
