..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
