A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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