his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
