I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
