you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think i have two assholes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
