At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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