You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
