I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize