I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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