I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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