you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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