you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
