she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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