so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
