That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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