lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
