the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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