a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
