dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
