Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
