Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
