Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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