U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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