saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
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I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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