Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
