It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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