I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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