you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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