You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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