I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
