Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
