coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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