i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
