I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
