You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
