its not stalking. its research.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
