I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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