i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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