Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
