You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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