Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
